it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
