So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
