Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
