I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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