I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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