just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
