We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
