he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
