Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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