I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I smell like Dick and happiness
Someone signed my nipple.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
