i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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