And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize