I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
