so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
