sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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