and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
