I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
