I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
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Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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