people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
