I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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