How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize