Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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