He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
