I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
