It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
