Don't you send me to vm
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
