And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
