i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
