So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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