Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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