So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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