Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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