"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
