So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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