wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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