i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
