Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
