Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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