evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
