Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Randomize
