you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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