You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
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I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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