hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
