Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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