You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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