what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
