i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
