Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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