from now on my penis is your penis
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
