I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
