you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
