remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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