My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
