week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
