Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Sorry about my life...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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