yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
