I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
