I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize