Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
