Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
