so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
