Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
i believe in u and ur pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize