That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
