hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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