i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Randomize
