i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
