Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
