I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
