i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
