it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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